I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
