But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
