:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize