so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
