He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
