If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
