Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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