Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
