Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
