Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
