drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
