i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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