jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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