Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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