We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
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