It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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