Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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