all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
