Pants 0. Shit 1.
thus making me awesome and them whores
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
