I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
