tonight lets celebrate not being married
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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