Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
