he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
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He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
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I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
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