"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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