suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
