OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
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When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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