Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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