Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
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