A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
