I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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