if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
