just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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