what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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