You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
