i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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