my sisters under your porch take her home
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize