hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The maid of honor just puked.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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