Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
