i think my tv is drunk
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
