we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
