woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
