I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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