Don't you send me to vm
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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