So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
