I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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