I'm gonna have a badass scar
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
