like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
