those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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