Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
