JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I think I have vodka in my lungs
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
