I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
