I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
