I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
