i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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