So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
