There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
