dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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