Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize