Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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