you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
