im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
