i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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