Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
