There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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