I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
