Dual....:-)
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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