I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Everything about him screamed your future.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Are we still banned from the library?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
