i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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