We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Randomize
