Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Randomize
