meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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