RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize